Sooooooo tiiiiiiiired

January 8th 2020

I need to write. I haven’t blogged since Christmas Day (which feels like about 4 years ago. And I have a show to rewrite. The next performance is on February 1st, which is close enough that I should be panicking, but far enough away that I’m not.

I’ve been doing lots of helpful thinking though. And having some good ideas. And then doing nothing about them, because I’m soooooo tiiiiiiiired.

I’m tired because I’m not sleeping well. I’m not sleeping well because of the sodding menopause. The show is about my menopause and at the moment, I’m thinking that the opening line will be “If this show is crap, it’s because of my menopause”. It’s a terrible opening, but at least it’s on brand.

I’ve been having night sweats. Everything I read about them makes them sound AWFUL! Waking up in the middle of the night with soaking wet bedclothes, that kind of thing. Mine aren’t that dramatic. Just a little sweat, like an adrenaline rush, then throw off the covers, turn the pillow over and lie in a star shape on my front. All the while thinking ‘I’m so lucky, I don’t have the really bad ones’. And then thinking ‘I can go back to sleep now.’ And then thinking ‘I must remember to defrost that lasagna in the morning’ and ‘I wonder if we’re at war yet’ and ‘I hope Andy Murray’s better in time for the Australian Open’…

And then I think up a BRILLIANT idea for my show, and 3 or 4 hiLARious jokes. And then I fall asleep.

And when I wake up, I’ve forgotten the ideas and the jokes, but I’m still worried about Andy Murray. And war.

I have to go now, I have a show to write. Do you mind? I don’t have time to sit here all day writing to YOU, you know!

I’m just going to quickly google Andy Murray and see how he’s doing…

(Pauline’s show ALL CHANGE 2020 is at The Kitchen Cafe Croxley Green near Watford on Saturday 1st February. Tickets available here

Published by yespaulineeyre

Married, middle-aged & menopausal. Pauline is sandwiched between her kids & her elderly mum. When everything changes and nobody needs her any more, will there be any Pauline left? A blog from a comedian in the midst of a midlife crisis.

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